Marriage

The One I Love

By Elisabeth LaMotte / February 15, 2015

Director:  Charlie McDowell Writer: Justin Lader 91 minutes/ August, 2014 Infidelity is a common topic of conversation in couples therapy.  While discovering that one’s partner was unfaithful is a devastating and often traumatic experience, many couples can and do work through this discovery and come out stronger on the other side. One of the toughest…

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Newlyweds

By Elisabeth LaMotte / December 14, 2014

Each holiday season, many of our therapy clients reflect and prepare emotionally in an effort to make the most of their upcoming visits with family.   Family visits can be psychologically intense experiences that are especially meaningful for those who are in therapy and hoping to break out of long standing patterns and dysfunctional family…

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Crossing to Safety

By Elisabeth LaMotte / October 1, 2014

What makes a marriage work?  What makes a relationship last?  How does work influence marriage?  How does marriage influence work?  How important is it to make time to see friends?  These are questions that come up frequently in psychotherapy.  Wallace Stegner’s 1987 classic novel on love, literature, friendship and marriage illuminates the timeless quality of…

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Delancey: A Man, A Woman, A Restaurant, A Marriage

By Elisabeth LaMotte / September 12, 2014

257 pages, Simon and Schuster Molly Wizenberg’s blog, Orangette, was named the world’s best food blog by the London Times.  Her lively 2014 memoir about her husband Brandon’s dream of opening a pizza joint in Seattle and what happens along the way says as much about maintaining a healthy, happy albeit imperfect marriage as it…

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Mating in Captivity

By Elisabeth LaMotte / April 14, 2014

Esther Perel, 2007, 272 pages A mantra of my post-graduate training in couples, family and sex therapy was that when a couple is struggling in the bedroom, that struggle is a mirror for what’s happening outside of the bedroom.  So, if you help a couple increase intimacy and enhance communication, and you employ the sex…

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Hope Springs

By Elisabeth LaMotte / March 26, 2014

Cinematic portrayals of couples therapy are tough to acheive.  While television series such as In Treatment and The Sopranos have done a wonderful job of conveying what its like to experience individual psychotherapy, a realistic portrayal is much harder to achieve in a film. And even harder to achieve with respect to couples.  The groundbreaking film Hope Springs (available on DVD) achieves…

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Take This Waltz

By Elisabeth LaMotte / January 23, 2014

2011, 1 hour and 56 minutes Written and Directed by Sarah Polley When a marriage is going through challenging times, it is extremely common to become consumed with thoughts about how there must be something out there that is better.  Such thoughts can be especially powerful if there is someone else in the picture.  Whether…

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The Lowland (2013)

By Elisabeth LaMotte / December 8, 2013

Exploring sibling relationships is often an important dimension of the therapeutic process. Understanding the dynamics between siblings sheds light on one’s historical roles in the family.  Understanding family roles from childhood can be key to understanding current patterns in romantic, professional and social relationships.   Jhumpa Lahiri’s riveting new book, “The Lowland”, begins with a beautiful narrative…

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Committed: A Sceptic Makes Peace with Marriage

By Elisabeth LaMotte / September 21, 2013

(2010, Elizabeth Gilbert, Viking) As a therapist practicing since 1995, one of the most common requests I receive is for a good book about marriage.  This request is especially common among newly engaged couples and people who are struggling to decide whether to marry their current partner.   There are some interesting self-help books about…

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Last Night

By Elisabeth LaMotte / August 31, 2013

LAST NIGHT (2010)  1 hour, 32 minutes, Written and Directed by Massy Tadjedin As a therapist, one truth I witness again and again is that infidelity is much more common, and much more complicated, than it seems.  Affairs that take place on an emotional level are often more difficult to recover from than those involving a physical…

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