Family & Siblings

Tom Lake

By Elisabeth LaMotte / December 28, 2024

Therapists, especially relationally-oriented therapists, often attempt to help clients in therapy to improve their relationship choices. The pattern of fear of commitment is a widely acknowledged phenomenon in popular culture. Most of us understand fear of commitment as a conscious hesitation to take a healthy relationship to a higher level of commitment. But sometimes conflicts…

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Tell Me Everything

By Elisabeth LaMotte / November 30, 2024

If only we therapists could concoct a reliable strategy to help our clients prevent affairs. If only we could convincingly illuminate the heartbreak and damage and devastation in advance to help motivate adults who find themselves deep in the throes of an intense crush to carve out a different path. The trouble typically is that…

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Dear Edward

By Elisabeth LaMotte / April 30, 2024
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A few months ago, my college age daughter, (an English major) suggested that I read Dear Edward. Then, while we were traveling together for spring break, she noticed me reading the book as recommended and expressed surprised concern that I would pick a book about a plane crash while navigating various legs of air travel.…

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Terms of Endearment

By Elisabeth LaMotte / November 28, 2023
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I came across this moving review of multiple Oscar winner Terms of Endearment and memories of Emma, Aurora, Flap and Patsy felt like resisting old friends. Then I watched the four minute and twenty second trailer and quickly became a tear soaked puddle. The film’s centerpiece – the exceedingly real mother-daughter/ Aurora-Emma duo, inspire us…

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Leopoldsdadt

By Elisabeth LaMotte / December 7, 2022
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Family therapists love a good genogram. For those unfamiliar with this term, a genogram is a comprehensive family history framed through the psychological lens of Family Systems Theory. Family Systems Theory is a relationally oriented approach to therapy emphasizing the formative importance of the family landscape. Systemic therapists believe that relational patterns are often passed…

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The Midnight Library

By Elisabeth LaMotte / September 6, 2022
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Engaging in therapy, it is quite common to look back on past choices and scan for patterns. Reflecting on past decisions often illuminates insights about the present and the future. Honest examination in this mode is a template for therapeutic change. Let’s say a therapy client is working on a pattern of choosing unhealthy relationships.…

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Run Towards the Danger

By Elisabeth LaMotte / May 26, 2022
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Practically speaking, preparing for foot surgery feels surprisingly like preparing to have a baby. I stopped taking new therapy clients two months prior to my surgery date in an attempt to mold my work/life balance into the most manageable place during the 3 to 6 month recovery period. Not since giving birth two decades ago…

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Coda

By Elisabeth LaMotte / April 20, 2022
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As a systems therapist, family roles and dynamics are an important area of exploration. Developing a deeper understanding of the roles directly or indirectly assigned in childhood helps therapy clients reflect on how such roles are internalized and carried into adult careers and adult relationships. Developing a grasp of how past roles play out in…

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King Richard

By Elisabeth LaMotte / November 30, 2021
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As the film King Richard opens and viewers meet the Williams family, there are a lot of healthy relational dynamics to admire. Richard and Oracine Williams are fiercely devoted to their 5 daughters and work tirelessly to build an enriching childhood and a safe secure home. The daughters work hard, do chores, have manners and…

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Turbulent Souls

By Elisabeth LaMotte / March 6, 2021
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Rebellion is considered a natural part of adolescent and early adulthood development and a topic of interest for many therapists and clients in therapy. Rebellion can look remarkably different depending on the rebellious actor and their family unit. While some rebellious acts, like cutting class or shaving one’s head, seem obvious, others feel more confusing…

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