Sex

Run Towards the Danger

By Elisabeth LaMotte / May 26, 2022

Practically speaking, preparing for foot surgery feels surprisingly like preparing to have a baby. I stopped taking new therapy clients two months prior to my surgery date in an attempt to mold my work/life balance into the most manageable place during the 3 to 6 month recovery period. Not since giving birth two decades ago…

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Coda

By Elisabeth LaMotte / April 20, 2022

As a systems therapist, family roles and dynamics are an important area of exploration. Developing a deeper understanding of the roles directly or indirectly assigned in childhood helps therapy clients reflect on how such roles are internalized and carried into adult careers and adult relationships. Developing a grasp of how past roles play out in…

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The Lost Daughter

By Elisabeth LaMotte / January 3, 2022

Years ago, I worked with a therapy client who reached out when she learned that her twenty-three-year-old daughter was addicted to opioids. Remembering early days of motherhood, my client sobbed recalling her struggles to balance a demanding career as an academic with her daughter’s pleas for attention and affection. Her daughter’s needs were obviously understandable.…

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Machines Like Me

By Elisabeth LaMotte / November 25, 2019

The impact of technology on relationships is a recurring theme in therapy. Our collective addiction to screens is a constant distraction and barrier to intimacy. Couples routinely fight about how much time their significant other spends looking at a phone or checking social media or excessively streaming. But technology also brings people together, whether through…

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The Tale

By Elisabeth LaMotte / May 31, 2018

There are many different schools of psychology that shape various strategies of clinicians practicing therapy. An interesting point of commonality is a shared acknowledgement of the significance of the past and a shared interest in how childhood experiences sculpt adult life experience. Cognitive theory explores learned thought processes. Behavioral theory emphasizes learned behaviors. Systems theory…

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Call Me By Your Name

By Elisabeth LaMotte / April 2, 2018

Young love, summer romance, seduction and sensuality. Luca Guadanigno’s 2017 sumptuous film, Call Me By Your Name, features every magnificent ingredient baked into a delicious and memorable love story. Each summer, Elio’s father (an archaeology professor) hires a research assistant to work and live with the family. When the dashing and entitled Oliver (Armie Hammer)…

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The Overnight

By Elisabeth LaMotte / July 4, 2015

A few days ago, the New York Times reported on the explosion of new ideas and approaches in sex therapy and revolutionary thinking in the psychotherapy field about how to work with couples around issues of monogamy and sex.  The article, “First Comes Sex Talk With These Renegades of Sex Therapy” by Amy Sohn points out that…

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Thanks for Sharing

By Elisabeth LaMotte / December 1, 2014

Romantic relationships are complicated, intense, beautiful entities that can be challenging to nurture and sustain.  Today’s persistent emphasis on high-speed solutions, high-tech communications, and ubiquitous social networking can compromise the development of a simple, organic union between two like-minded people hoping to find love.  For those who struggle with sexual addiction, a long-term committed relationship…

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Her

By Elisabeth LaMotte / June 10, 2014

As a therapist working with adults in their twenties, thirties and forties, many of whom are single, I frequently discuss the way that technology affects dating and relationships with my clients.  I often wonder what the future will look like, and how much farther the internet revolution will infiltrate and impact the human experience of…

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Mating in Captivity

By Elisabeth LaMotte / April 14, 2014

Esther Perel, 2007, 272 pages A mantra of my post-graduate training in couples, family and sex therapy was that when a couple is struggling in the bedroom, that struggle is a mirror for what’s happening outside of the bedroom.  So, if you help a couple increase intimacy and enhance communication, and you employ the sex…

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