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Tom Lake

By Elisabeth LaMotte / December 28, 2024

Therapists, especially relationally-oriented therapists, often attempt to help clients in therapy to improve their relationship choices. The pattern of fear of commitment is a widely acknowledged phenomenon in popular culture. Most of us understand fear of commitment as a conscious hesitation to take a healthy relationship to a higher level of commitment. But sometimes conflicts…

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Tell Me Everything

By Elisabeth LaMotte / November 30, 2024

If only we therapists could concoct a reliable strategy to help our clients prevent affairs. If only we could convincingly illuminate the heartbreak and damage and devastation in advance to help motivate adults who find themselves deep in the throes of an intense crush to carve out a different path. The trouble typically is that…

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Illinoise

By Elisabeth LaMotte / August 21, 2024
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Early adulthood is a rich psychological time when personalities develop more deeply, and individuals begin to cultivate what systems therapists describe as a more grounded sense of self. Early adulthood marks a wonderful but often fraught stage of life full of pondering, pain and possibility. Illinoise, a stunning musical directed and choreographed by Justin Peck,…

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Hit Man

By Elisabeth LaMotte / June 11, 2024
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Freudian theory has many limitations and a lot of the original ideas are so sexist they are not even worthy of serious discussion. Nevertheless, Sigmund Freud was the very first to identify and explore the existence of the unconscious mind – a concept that has become central to modern psychology and to understanding human motivations…

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Dear Edward

By Elisabeth LaMotte / April 30, 2024
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A few months ago, my college age daughter, (an English major) suggested that I read Dear Edward. Then, while we were traveling together for spring break, she noticed me reading the book as recommended and expressed surprised concern that I would pick a book about a plane crash while navigating various legs of air travel.…

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The Midnight Library

By Elisabeth LaMotte / September 6, 2022
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Engaging in therapy, it is quite common to look back on past choices and scan for patterns. Reflecting on past decisions often illuminates insights about the present and the future. Honest examination in this mode is a template for therapeutic change. Let’s say a therapy client is working on a pattern of choosing unhealthy relationships.…

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Coda

By Elisabeth LaMotte / April 20, 2022
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As a systems therapist, family roles and dynamics are an important area of exploration. Developing a deeper understanding of the roles directly or indirectly assigned in childhood helps therapy clients reflect on how such roles are internalized and carried into adult careers and adult relationships. Developing a grasp of how past roles play out in…

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Our Souls at Night

By Elisabeth LaMotte / April 12, 2021
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Committed relationships often feel complicated, as any couples therapist will acknowledge. But falling in love often feels simple. Clear and inspiring, liberating and pure. Kent Haruf captures the purity and ease of burgeoning romantic feelings in his final novel, Our Souls at Night. The novel is a quick, engaging read that explores the magic of…

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Turbulent Souls

By Elisabeth LaMotte / March 6, 2021
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Rebellion is considered a natural part of adolescent and early adulthood development and a topic of interest for many therapists and clients in therapy. Rebellion can look remarkably different depending on the rebellious actor and their family unit. While some rebellious acts, like cutting class or shaving one’s head, seem obvious, others feel more confusing…

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Palm Springs

By Elisabeth LaMotte / August 4, 2020
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With schools across the country and throughout the DMV announcing that they will remain virtual for several more months, life in quarantine is affirmed as our new normal. When DC and the surrounding area shut down in March, it was hard to imagine that in July we would be bracing for distance learning and stay…

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