Intimacy & Commitment

The Snow Queen

By Elisabeth LaMotte / July 28, 2014

Michael Cunningham, 2014, 272 pages Intimate relationships are a primary focus in psychotherapy.  Through therapy, people examine their closest relationships in order to determine what aspects of their approach to others work well for them, and what aspects of their approach they might want to change in order to form healthier attachments.  In order to…

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Her

By Elisabeth LaMotte / June 10, 2014

As a therapist working with adults in their twenties, thirties and forties, many of whom are single, I frequently discuss the way that technology affects dating and relationships with my clients.  I often wonder what the future will look like, and how much farther the internet revolution will infiltrate and impact the human experience of…

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The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

By Elisabeth LaMotte / May 22, 2014
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Ben Stiller, 2013, 114 minutes The intersection of dating and technology is an inevitable topic for single adults in therapy.  Whether discussing questions about the choice to pursue on-line dating, or how Facebook, Instagram and texting shape the modern relationship landscape, technology has a profound influence over the process of seeking romance and connection. Directed…

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Mating in Captivity

By Elisabeth LaMotte / April 14, 2014
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Esther Perel, 2007, 272 pages A mantra of my post-graduate training in couples, family and sex therapy was that when a couple is struggling in the bedroom, that struggle is a mirror for what’s happening outside of the bedroom.  So, if you help a couple increase intimacy and enhance communication, and you employ the sex…

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Hope Springs

By Elisabeth LaMotte / March 26, 2014
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Cinematic portrayals of couples therapy are tough to acheive.  While television series such as In Treatment and The Sopranos have done a wonderful job of conveying what its like to experience individual psychotherapy, a realistic portrayal is much harder to achieve in a film. And even harder to achieve with respect to couples.  The groundbreaking film Hope Springs (available on DVD) achieves…

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Don Jon

By Elisabeth LaMotte / March 10, 2014
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Written and Directed by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, 90 minutes, 2013 Internet porn has changed relationships and marriages in more ways than a couples therapist can count.  Questions on the pornography front are quite common.  Is it okay to watch together?  Is it okay to watch it alone?  If so, how much is too much?  These questions…

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Take This Waltz

By Elisabeth LaMotte / January 23, 2014
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2011, 1 hour and 56 minutes Written and Directed by Sarah Polley When a marriage is going through challenging times, it is extremely common to become consumed with thoughts about how there must be something out there that is better.  Such thoughts can be especially powerful if there is someone else in the picture.  Whether…

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Sparrows Dance

By Elisabeth LaMotte / October 2, 2013
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(2012, Noah Buschel, 81 minutes) This quiet, intimate love story offers a sensitive look into the rare but real mental illness, agoraphobia.   Filmed entirely in the apartment of an agoraphobic actress, Sparrows Dance paints a portrait of the contained and controlled life this illness demands. Agoraphobia is a form of panic disorder in which…

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Committed: A Sceptic Makes Peace with Marriage

By Elisabeth LaMotte / September 21, 2013
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(2010, Elizabeth Gilbert, Viking) As a therapist practicing since 1995, one of the most common requests I receive is for a good book about marriage.  This request is especially common among newly engaged couples and people who are struggling to decide whether to marry their current partner.   There are some interesting self-help books about…

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Good Will Hunting

By Elisabeth LaMotte / September 9, 2013
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GOOD WILL HUNTING  (1997) 126 minutes, directed by Gus Van Sant  Many people enter therapy because they are struggling to make a decision about commitment.  Sometimes, deciding to commit to a romantic partner can produce tremendous anxiety, especially for those who have not been exposed to healthy, intimate relationships. Directed by Gus Van Sant, Good Will…

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