What couples therapy book helps couples transform their connection?

I’ve admired social worker Terry Real for many years. He held an impromptu virtual meeting in mid-March 2020 and invited any practicing therapist to attend. He shared that he has been working virtually for quite a while and expressed his belief that experienced clinicians could indeed pivot from their in-person sessions in order to continue their work with clients in crisis. He is an inspiration and it was thrilling to interview him and finally thank him for that meeting!!! Our conversation was arranged in celebration of the paperback release of his groundbreaking book US:Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.

For years I like to joke that the best way to win an argument is to lose it. Terry Real says it better: “Who’s right / who’s wrong / who cares?!?!?” In many ways that is the underlying theme of his approach, outlined in the podcast interview. The most emotionally mature way to resolve conflict and foster connection is to let go of the attachment to right versus wrong. Instead, share your deeper observations and feelings and articulate ownership of your part of the problem. Therein lies a gateway to intimacy.

I hope you enjoy the conversation below which you can also listen to wherever you get your podcasts by downloading Social Work Talks, episode 120.