Elisabeth LaMotte
What Do You Anticipate as the Strengths and the Challenges of your Marriage? This is a wonderful two-tiered conversation topic that can help couples prepare for the future. It is meaningful to enter marriage by first putting words to your relationship’s strengths. If you share values, trust one another implicitly, have great sex, work well…
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Deepak Chopra famously said: “When you blame and criticize others, you are avoiding some truth about yourself.” The tendency to focus on the flaws of others in order to deny scary or painful dimensions of the self comes up often in therapy. Sigmund Freud described this process as projective identification. Projective identification — often called…
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Family Systems theory is a school of psychology through which individual functioning is best understood in the context of their most intimate relationships. This “systemic” perspective emphasizes how each individual is shaped by the culture of their “family of origin”. (Family of Origin refers to the family in which we were raised.) The theory focuses…
Read More“Honey We Need to Talk!” Raising complicated discussion topics at bedtime is rarely productive and not the least bit sensual. Juggling work and parenting is chaotic and exhausting, so the urge to toss out weighty conversation topics once kids are asleep, responsibilities are met, and your heads are finally hitting the pillow makes sense. But…
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As a therapist in Washington, DC, I work with many career focused individuals and couples. DC dwellers tend to marry later and so they often decide to start families will into their late thirties and early forties. It is, therefore, not surprising that infertility and adoption are common therapy themes in our practice. The process…
Read MoreTherapy clients looking for romantic love used to designate therapy as a place to ponder the question of on-line dating. Years ago, the primary question was whether or not it felt comfortable to place a profile in the cyber universe and begin interacting with strangers on-line. That dated question has shifted away from WHETHER to…
Read More The mysteries of attraction and the selection of romantic partners are frequent focal points of discussion during individual therapy. If you have a pattern of choosing unsuitable or unavailable romantic partners, it is important to figure out why you are making substandard choices, especially if you want to experience more fulfilling relationships. It is also…
Read More “I don’t believe in epiphanies. I don’t believe in transformative moments, as transformation is harder than a moment. I’ve seen far too many people awash in a genuine desire to change only to lose their mettle when they realized just how difficult change actually is.” What factors facilitate authentic change? And what traits of character…
Read More Instincts are important. Instincts guide our decisions, thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Practicing as a therapist, I would be lost without my instincts. Solid psychotherapy must be grounded in theory, but without a willingness to also use instincts, the theory can fall flat. I use my instincts working with therapy clients. And the clinical work often…
Read MoreResilient couples refuse the temptation to blame each other in the face of adversity. For example, if a child is diagnosed with a serious illness or a disability, the shock and impulse to understand why might lead a less resilient parent to blame or lash out with accusing questions like: “Why didn’t you try harder…
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