Elisabeth LaMotte
To begin couples therapy, I ask each half of the couple to describe why they reached out, and how I can be helpful. The answer often involves excellent insights about what they wish their partner could do differently. To explore the answer in more depth, I ask each person if they can describe what they…
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Romance novels, films, television and advertising socalize women to prioritize becoming part of a romantic union. Breakups, new romances, engagements and divorce are among the relationship developments that might inspire the urge to reach out to a therapist. Any dramatic shift in romantic relationship status can spark the onset of sudden symptoms, most notably anxiety…
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The sensations and experience of grief are a shocking departure from other states of existing. And we, as a society, often shy away from exploring or understanding the grieving process. Sensations can feel heightened, while orientation is often confused. For those who have never been through it, and even for those who have, a traumatic…
Read MoreFinancial security makes life easier and reduces anxiety related to meeting basic needs. And shared views related to money such as how much to save and budgeting priorities are important dimensions of marital stability. Nevertheless, improved financial security does not necessarily lead to a more fulfilling relationship. Sometimes money infects and compromises a marriage. I…
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Relocation is an interesting psychological process. My experience as a therapist is shaped by geography, and practicing in DC means that relocation is a recurring theme. A typical day of office hours might include sessions with clients from the Middle East, Europe, the Midwest as well as the South. Some of my clients grew up…
Read MoreRelationships come in all kids of different shapes and forms, and people tend to choose life partners for a variety of reasons. Some prioritize a sense of humor and shared interests, others care most about intelligence and professional drive. Sexual attraction, shared values, cultural and religious beliefs, financial security, and friendship are among the qualities…
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Adjusting to breakups, navigating work-life balance, managing anxiety and determining whether to remain in a current romantic relationship are some common urban stressors that lead people to therapy. Writer and director Damien Chazelle’s lyrical love story La La Land explores these psychologically complex struggles with compassion and integrity. Nominated for 7 Golden Globes, La La…
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Celeste Ng’s 2014 debut novel about a Chinese-American family coping with the excruciating aftermath of a teenager’s death is as absorbing as it is humbling. It is absorbing due to its complex and realistic characters, each with their own layers and secrets and struggles related to the middle daughter, Lydia’s, mysterious disappearance and death. And…
Read MoreIn theory, the holiday season is a magical time of year. In practice, it is often fraught with stress and relational tension. Gift giving is an arena that frequently causes avoidable pressure. We are socialized — through films, romance novels and advertising — to imagine that if someone really loves us, and gets us, they…
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When individuals or couples initiate therapy, I ask that they begin by setting goals for themselves. Specifically, I ask them, what do you think you need to work on to have a more fulfilling life and more a satisfying relationship? The two most common goals — by far — are to improve communications skills and…
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