Elisabeth LaMotte
Deflecting and projecting: If you notice yourself engaging in excessive levels of conflict with your spouse, consider the possibility that you are upset with yourself about something that is unsettling or difficult to face. For example, if the marital fights involve a lot of anger about your wife’s job, make sure you also reflect on…
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Most people initiate therapy because something has changed. A relationship may have ended, a new relationship may be intensifying. And workplace adjustments also can spark a desire for therapy. Maybe a team is restructuring or a new boss is shaking things up. Even if the change is a net positive, adjusting to a new dynamic often generates…
Read MoreDivorce can feel like a death and it is, in a sense, the death of a dream. If you are struggling to move on, comfort yourself by acknowledging that part of your struggle probably speaks to your ability to make a lifetime commitment and mean it. Nevertheless, if reconciliation is not an option, moving on…
Read MoreUse the term “commuter marriage” in place of a “long-distance marriage”: Pollster Mark Penn uses this term in his 2007 book, Microtrends. Statistically speaking, commuter marriages are a growing, noteworthy trend reflecting our more mobile, work-oriented society. Increasing numbers of dual career couples are determining that it is necessary to live apart to further their careers. …
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“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche Dancer, Director Steven Cantor’s intense documentary about the ballet’s “bad boy” Sergei Polunin hands viewers a backstage pass into the inspiring, beautiful and unforgiving world of classical ballet. Candid interviews, home movies, and news clips are pieced together to follow…
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Zooming through the fast-paced lifestyle so many DC dwellers live today, it is not uncommon to discuss (in therapy or elsewhere) the desire to step away from it all and check out. Captain Fantastic paints a cinematic portrait of a passionate, deliberate life off the grid in the Pacific Northwest. Viggo Mortensen is utterly…
Read MoreUnexpected life events can dismantle the balance of any busy family, but sudden scheduling shifts are especially challenging when they disrupt the visitation schedule of children whose parents are divorced. Abrupt requests for a scheduling change might be inspired by festive circumstances like unexpected acquisition of coveted concert tickets or by difficult life events like…
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Lauren Groff Riverhead Books, 2015 391 pages When couples in therapy describe their relationship challenges, the delicate act of balancing separateness and togetherness surfaces as a recurring theme. Lauren Groff’s provocative 2015 novel, Fates and Furies, injects this theme with steroids and invites readers into a provocative narrative exploring the internal emotional worlds of two…
Read MoreNo magical piece of information shared between a well-intended couple will ensure that they live happily ever after; however, discussing the relationship’s strengths and weaknesses is important part of deciding about and preparing for marriage. The question of what your future spouse needs to know about you illuminates the more meaningful question of what YOU…
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Director: Andrew Haigh Writers: David Constantine (short story ‘In Another Country’) Andrew Haigh adaptation 1 hour, 35 minutes, December, 2015 Communication surfaces as a centerpiece for most couples in therapy. Married people often direct more effort towards communicating with children, friends and colleagues and less effort towards engaged discussions with their spouse. 45 Years was…
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