couples therapy

Something Corporate and How to “Forget December”

By Spencer Northey / July 31, 2021

  We are in peak summer 2021 and December 2020 seems a long way away. Even though things are not completely back to normal, and some of us are anxious about the variant, most of us who are vaccinated in the DC area have been able to move on from having to stay in, socially…

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R.E.M. and the Gottmans’ Four Horsemen

By Spencer Northey / June 15, 2021

It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) Recorded 1987 By Bill Berry, Peter Buck, Mike Mills, and Michal Stipe Performed by REM World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed Tell me with the rapture and the reverent in the right, right You vitriolic, patriotic, slam,…

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Bebe Rexha and Heartbreak

By Spencer Northey / May 18, 2021

I’m a Mess By Bebe Rexha, Justin Tranter, Meridith Brooks, Shelly Peiken I’m a mess, I’m a loser I’m a hater, I’m a user I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new I’m obsessed, I’m embarrassed I don’t trust no one around us I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t new  (see full…

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Take Yo’ Praise

By Spencer Northey / April 21, 2021

Take Yo’ Praise by Camile Yarbrough We’ve come a long long way together Through the hard times and the good I have to celebrate you baby I have to praise you like I should  Vingette: Sean and Selena have been together for about 7 years, they are working through surviving the pandemic and raising a…

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So Done

By Spencer Northey / October 6, 2020

So Done Written by Ludwig Göransson, Khalid and Alicia Keys ‘Cause I’m so, so done Got it, my time Holding me back I’m living the way that I want ‘Cause I’m so, so done Fighting myself Going through hell I’m living the way that I want (5x) I lost control of all of my energy…

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Medea

By Elisabeth LaMotte / February 21, 2020

Simon Stone’s jolting modern day version of the classic Euripides tale Medea was so intense, it took weeks for me to gather my thoughts. This steamy pairing of real life couple Rose Byrne and Bobby Cannavale premiered in January at the Brooklyn Academy of Music (BAM) and runs through March 8th. For one thing, it…

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What’s the Difference between Talking with a Shrink and Talking with a Friend?

By Elisabeth LaMotte / October 11, 2019

Atlantic Monthly reporter Olga Khazan reached out last month to discuss what it is like to practice therapy in Washington, DC. She was curious about what it means to work in a city where so many professionals have top secret security clearance or work in fields like politics and reporting where it can be complicated…

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What are Some Misconceptions about what Married Couples Should have in Common?

By Elisabeth LaMotte / May 4, 2018

We are socialized to imagine that it is important to share common interests with our spouse. And many couples enjoy bonding through playing a sport together or sharing a variety of hobbies. But there are plenty of couples whose interests diverge. As long as a couple prioritizes spending time together on a regular basis, it…

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How can I scale back all of this emotional labor?

By Elisabeth LaMotte / March 3, 2018

Tension about the imbalance of emotional labor in heterosexual marriage has been an ongoing conversation topic in my therapy practice for decades. By emotional labor, most female clients are referring to the emotions they experience related to an unfair balance of physical or mental labor associated with managing a household. Women experience a strong aversion…

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Tender is the Night

By Elisabeth LaMotte / July 21, 2017

Deepak Chopra famously said: “When you blame and criticize others, you are avoiding some truth about yourself.” The tendency to focus on the flaws of others in order to deny scary or painful dimensions of the self comes up often in therapy. Sigmund Freud described this process as projective identification. Projective identification — often called…

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