Spencer Northey

Book Report: Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg

By Spencer Northey / June 3, 2025

It turns out that when musicians are playing together, their brains and physiology begin to synchronize. Research and observations like these makes Superconnumicators essential reading for folks hoping to enhance how they communicate, relate and connect. The guidance is good for a range of intimacy levels, from family members to strangers. I caught myself as…

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Orpheus and Eurydice Part II: Listen to Your Heart

By Spencer Northey / May 27, 2025

A while back I wrote about how the story of Orpheus and Eurydice haunts me as a relationship therapist. How Orpheus could have saved their relationship if he had been able to manage his anxiety and reactivity. This is a song I might sing to Orpheus: “Listen to your heart.” This would include all of…

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“Walk”: A Therapeutic Journey Towards Wild Dreams

By Spencer Northey / May 21, 2025
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Sometime in the summer of 2021, Spotify suggested “Walk” by Griff as a song the algorithm thought I might like. The rest was history. Every year, my Spotify Wrapped report confirms my devotion to this song, and to Griff as an artist. Griff is an artist whose connection to the emotions and stories of her…

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Spencer’s “Witch-Pop” Playlist 2023

By Spencer Northey / November 1, 2023
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So much is going on in the world that it makes sense to all but crawl under a rock between responsibilities. But Halloween with kids necessitates coming out. I found my energy through making a playlist themed, “Witch Pop.” If you need to get moving at the end of spooky-season and beyond, you may enjoy…

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Ciara Gives Us a DOSE of Happiness

By Spencer Northey / July 22, 2023
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Ciara’s 2018 hit single, “Dose,” is a high energy pep-rally style song that may increase some happy chemicals as you listen and move to it. It includes a marching band, community dancing, and the hook “when you fall, just get back up again.” When Ciara sings the refrain “I’ma hit you with a DOSE!” she…

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Why Parents Need to “Be Kind” to the Ones That They Love

By Spencer Northey / July 13, 2023
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  “Be Kind,” by Halsey and Marshmello, makes me think of parents who struggle to be kind to their children. I have encountered these parents directly working as a family and early childhood therapist, as well as their shadows and ghosts in the therapy room when working with the adult children they have affected. Failure…

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Mitski and America Are Doing Our Best To Figure It Out

By Spencer Northey / July 5, 2023
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  In Mitzki’s critically acclaimed song and music video, “Your Best American Girl,” she starts out feeling cute. Then, she is rebuffed in exchange for an “All-American” prototype that she doesn’t fit into. That most Americans do not fit into. True to Mitzki’s wise – though, absurd – style, she turns to herself for answers.…

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You Gotta Therapy: A Short History of Therapy Jam Sessions and My Ridiculousness

By Spencer Northey / June 30, 2023
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This post marks my 50th Therapy Jam Session post! I started this blog almost 5 years ago in September 2018. For years I had wanted to start a therapy blog, but I struggled with writer’s block. So, guess when an idea for a blog finally came to me? Two months after my first child was…

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“Fast Car” Reminds Us That Our Memories Are Ours

By Spencer Northey / June 26, 2023
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Tracy’s Chapman’s eponymous album is one of my first memories of music. It is a masterpiece musical tapestry that pulls me into different worlds for the duration of each song. Even the songs that are heartbreaking have a haunting pull to them. She tells these stories with empathy, love, and a glimmer of hope that…

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How Deep Breathing With Your Partner Helps You “Feel The Magic Floating In The Air”

By Spencer Northey / June 14, 2023
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If you breathe-in to the musical sunrise that is the intro to Faith Hill’s powerhouse ballad, “Breathe,” you are inviting in the peace of a deep full breath. Talk therapy can help with many issues, but it’s no substitute for the regular practice of deep breathing. Deep breathing puts you directly into the “here and…

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