Elisabeth LaMotte
Celeste Ng’s 2014 debut novel about a Chinese-American family coping with the excruciating aftermath of a teenager’s death is as absorbing as it is humbling. It is absorbing due to its complex and realistic characters, each with their own layers and secrets and struggles related to the middle daughter, Lydia’s, mysterious disappearance and death. And…
Read MoreIn theory, the holiday season is a magical time of year. In practice, it is often fraught with stress and relational tension. Gift giving is an arena that frequently causes avoidable pressure. We are socialized — through films, romance novels and advertising — to imagine that if someone really loves us, and gets us, they…
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When individuals or couples initiate therapy, I ask that they begin by setting goals for themselves. Specifically, I ask them, what do you think you need to work on to have a more fulfilling life and more a satisfying relationship? The two most common goals — by far — are to improve communications skills and…
Read MoreDeflecting and projecting: If you notice yourself engaging in excessive levels of conflict with your spouse, consider the possibility that you are upset with yourself about something that is unsettling or difficult to face. For example, if the marital fights involve a lot of anger about your wife’s job, make sure you also reflect on…
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Most people initiate therapy because something has changed. A relationship may have ended, a new relationship may be intensifying. And workplace adjustments also can spark a desire for therapy. Maybe a team is restructuring or a new boss is shaking things up. Even if the change is a net positive, adjusting to a new dynamic often generates…
Read MoreDivorce can feel like a death and it is, in a sense, the death of a dream. If you are struggling to move on, comfort yourself by acknowledging that part of your struggle probably speaks to your ability to make a lifetime commitment and mean it. Nevertheless, if reconciliation is not an option, moving on…
Read MoreUse the term “commuter marriage” in place of a “long-distance marriage”: Pollster Mark Penn uses this term in his 2007 book, Microtrends. Statistically speaking, commuter marriages are a growing, noteworthy trend reflecting our more mobile, work-oriented society. Increasing numbers of dual career couples are determining that it is necessary to live apart to further their careers. …
Read More “You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche Dancer, Director Steven Cantor’s intense documentary about the ballet’s “bad boy” Sergei Polunin hands viewers a backstage pass into the inspiring, beautiful and unforgiving world of classical ballet. Candid interviews, home movies, and news clips are pieced together to follow…
Read More Zooming through the fast-paced lifestyle so many DC dwellers live today, it is not uncommon to discuss (in therapy or elsewhere) the desire to step away from it all and check out. Captain Fantastic paints a cinematic portrait of a passionate, deliberate life off the grid in the Pacific Northwest. Viggo Mortensen is utterly…
Read MoreUnexpected life events can dismantle the balance of any busy family, but sudden scheduling shifts are especially challenging when they disrupt the visitation schedule of children whose parents are divorced. Abrupt requests for a scheduling change might be inspired by festive circumstances like unexpected acquisition of coveted concert tickets or by difficult life events like…
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