relationships

Spencer’s “Witch-Pop” Playlist 2023

By Spencer Northey / November 1, 2023

So much is going on in the world that it makes sense to all but crawl under a rock between responsibilities. But Halloween with kids necessitates coming out. I found my energy through making a playlist themed, “Witch Pop.” If you need to get moving at the end of spooky-season and beyond, you may enjoy…

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Tomorrow & Tomorrow & Tomorrow

By Elisabeth LaMotte / October 29, 2023

Tomorrow and, Tomorrow and, Tomorrow’s book jacket describes a “love story you haven’t heard before”. This provocative welcome offers a fitting invitation to enter the page turning journey of Sadie, Sam and Marx – three super smart college students at MIT and Harvard, making their way in the gaming industry. The love story is new…

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How do our genetics impact our relationships and family life?

By Elisabeth LaMotte / July 9, 2023

I recently had the fascinating opportunity to speak with the University of Pennsylvania School of Public Policy and Practice (SP2) researcher and professor Dr. Allison Werner-Lin about her groundbreaking research exploring the intersection of genetics and family life. The link below takes you to the National Association of Social Workers podcast, Social Work Talks, to…

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“Bring Me to Life” Without the Yelling Man

By Spencer Northey / July 14, 2022

“Bring Me to Life” is one of my favorite karaoke songs. I don’t think I am alone in this. It is so very emotive and dramatic to perform the 2003 rendition. There are these operatic female vocals and then the male voice just gets to yell some extra stuff. The story behind this song also…

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Jill Scott and How to Deal with “Haters”

By Spencer Northey / April 4, 2022

We do our best to detach from people who mistreat us. That’s often a big goal in individual therapy for clients: Identify who is zapping our energy and redirect it away into the people who support us. With insight and more confidence drawing boundaries, we can get better at excusing ourselves from connections with difficult…

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Hadestown and Orpheus’s Tragic Reactivity

By Spencer Northey / September 9, 2021

The Orpheus and Eurydice tale broke my heart when I first learned it in high school, and I have been in the bargaining phase of acceptance of it ever since. It was one of the many contributors to my decision to become a relationship therapist. I’m probably not kidding. In short, the story is about…

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The Beatles, “Hold me Tight,” and Emotion-Focused Therapy

By Spencer Northey / August 26, 2021

    This post is about both Hold Me Tight by the Beatles, one of their least favorite, but still famous songs AND the groundbreaking couple therapy book Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson. (Note: I chose to post the cover from the movie Across the Universe because the sound and video quality is better than…

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Jay-Z and Bowenian “Going Home”

By Spencer Northey / August 12, 2021

Jay-Z’s song “Moment of Clarity” is a powerful example of what renowned family psychotherapist Murray Bowen calls “going home” and “doing the work” to make sense of your family system.  To thoroughly experience the song, I recommend you find his version from The Black Album on your favorite streaming platform. The variations posted on YouTube…

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R.E.M. and the Gottmans’ Four Horsemen

By Spencer Northey / June 15, 2021

It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) Recorded 1987 By Bill Berry, Peter Buck, Mike Mills, and Michal Stipe Performed by REM World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed Tell me with the rapture and the reverent in the right, right You vitriolic, patriotic, slam,…

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Marvin Gaye, Antiracism, and Therapeutic Differentiation

By Spencer Northey / May 27, 2021

What’s Going On By Al Cleveland, Renaldo Benson, and Marvin Gaye You know we’ve got to find a way To bring some lovin’ here today  (full lyrics at the end of this post) In 1971 Marvin Gaye released the hauntingly beautiful song “What’s Going On” in response to the police brutality, inequality, and suffering he…

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