Jill Scott and How to Deal with “Haters”
We do our best to detach from people who mistreat us. That’s often a big goal in individual therapy for clients: Identify who is zapping our energy and redirect it away into the people who support us. With insight and more confidence drawing boundaries, we can get better at excusing ourselves from connections with difficult and hurtful people. With even more soul searching and self-defining we can learn not to internalize criticisms from people we never asked for a comment.
There are many tactics for dealing with overly critical people. Here is a good list: https://www.oprah.com/inspiration/harriet-lerner-phd-how-to-deal-with-critical-people-and-messy-fights
And difficult for dealing with difficult people. Here is another good list:
Talking through strategies and is helpful, but there is nothing like a power song such as this one to send the negativity running for cover.
Jill Scott wrote this in response to online criticism. It was a slight deviation from her typically smooth neo-soul style. It certainly makes it’s point. It’s such a fun and catchy earworm that reinforces that the best revenge is living well.
They lyrics recognize that no matter what she does, “the hater(s)” are still going to complain. She’s done trying to please them and is much more interested in gleaning the efforts of her hard work and following her destiny.
Dedicate this to your ex, judge-y family members, people who discouraged your career choices, people who thought you were “too dramatic,” or otherwise invalidated you. This song invites you to evict those people from your mind once and for all.
Hate on Me
Written by Jill Scott, Adam Blackstone, and Steve McKie
If I could give you the world
On a silver platter
Would even matter? You’d still be mad at me
If I can find in all this a dozen roses
Which I would give to you, you’d still be miserable
In reality I’m gon’ be who I be
And I don’t feel no faults for all the lies that you bought
You can try as you may bring me down when I say
That it ain’t up to you, go on do what you do
Hate on me hater
Now or later
‘Cause I’m gonna do me
You’ll be made baby
(Go head and hate)
Go head and hate on me hater
I’m not afraid of
What I got I paid for
You can hate on me
Ooh if I gave you peaches out of my own garden
And I made you a peach cobbler, would you slap me out?
Wonder if I gave you diamonds out of my own womb
Would you feel the love in that or ask “Why not the moon?”
If I gave you sanity for the whole of humanity
Had all the solutions for the pain and pollution
No matter where I live, despite the things I give
You’ll always be this way, so go ahead and
‘Cause my mind is free
Feel my destiny
So shall it be
You cannot hate on me
‘Cause my mind is free