relationship therapy

Looking for a Catchy Spring Song About Rebirth? Try “Death”

By Spencer Northey / April 19, 2023

If you are emerging from entanglement with a person, or people, that mattered to you, this song might be your spring jam. It is a song about knowing who you’ve become and where you’re going. It is about differentiating from those who cannot met you “across the plane.” Its metaphors detail manipulative attempts to pull…

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Leopoldsdadt

By Elisabeth LaMotte / December 7, 2022

Family therapists love a good genogram. For those unfamiliar with this term, a genogram is a comprehensive family history framed through the psychological lens of Family Systems Theory. Family Systems Theory is a relationally oriented approach to therapy emphasizing the formative importance of the family landscape. Systemic therapists believe that relational patterns are often passed…

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Emotional Flooding and How to Identify “Monster” Thoughts

By Spencer Northey / October 22, 2022

I was originally inspired to create this blog when I noticed how much certain songs connect and overlap with the powerful feelings and experiences discussed in therapy.  This song was one of them. In Beth Crowley’s, Monster, I hear a familiar reactivity. I hear the experience of people who don’t mean to lose it, but…

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Cardi B’s Choice Words for When You’re Betrayed

By Spencer Northey / June 24, 2022

This song expresses the flooded angry thoughts of a person betrayed by someone (or someones) they believed they could trust. As aggressive as some of the lyrics are, anyone who has experienced this level of betrayal can likely relate with these words. If you’ve ever been through something like this, similar thoughts and imagery may…

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“It’s Gonna Be [May]” and Mental Health Awareness Month

By Spencer Northey / April 28, 2022

Summary: In this post I recognize May as Mental Health Awareness Month, and I reflect on how it is important to open your mind to BOTH/AND lines of thinking. I reminisce about my connection to the song, “It’s Gonna Be Me,” and the many memes poking fun at the mispronunciation in the chorus. I connect…

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Coldplay and the S.L.O.W.E.X.I.T Steps for Setting Boundaries and Letting Go

By Spencer Northey / April 5, 2022

Summary: This post shares eight things you can do to practice setting boundaries and letting go in difficult relationships.  I recently took a leap and started relationship therapy group with some courageous and insightful participants. It was so meaningful to do this work with them. This post is dedicated to those people as we wrap…

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Jill Scott and How to Deal with “Haters”

By Spencer Northey / April 4, 2022

We do our best to detach from people who mistreat us. That’s often a big goal in individual therapy for clients: Identify who is zapping our energy and redirect it away into the people who support us. With insight and more confidence drawing boundaries, we can get better at excusing ourselves from connections with difficult…

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