What are some relationship red flags I might be overlooking?

What are some relationship red flags I might be overlooking?

A common relationship red flag often discussed in therapy involves an ongoing reluctance on behalf of one’s partner to make introductions to friends and family. It seems obvious that, if invitations to social occasions and introductions to friends and family are avoided and refused, then there’s a backstory to figure out and address.

A less noticeable but meaningful concern is when your significant other welcomes you into their friendship and family circles, but refuses to attend events and social functions in your social, family and professional life. Ideally, it should flow both ways – with invitations to join your significant other’s life milestones and occasions and also with demonstrations of interest and enthusiasm about your friendships, family and life events. If you notice that you are always making excuses for why you were not invited or why your partner is never free to join you in social settings, this may be cause for an honest conversation.

In addition, if you are in a relationship with someone who is always on a cell phone or glued to a screen, this is an obvious relationship red flag. But another, more subtle, cause for concern is a partner who is overly possessive of their phone. For example, if your battery dies and you want to borrow their phone to make a call, but they won’t hand you the phone without first looking at the screen, it’s quite likely they have something to hide.

None of these dynamics are definite deal breakers; however, they represent cause for reflection, conversation and curiosity.

Elisabeth LaMotte

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