Besides Infidelity, What Forms of Betrayal can Traumatize a Marriage?

Besides Infidelity, What Forms of Betrayal can Traumatize a Marriage?

Sexual and emotional affairs comprise the most common betrayals that lead people to therapy. And many couples work through those betrayals and find themselves stronger and closer on the other side. Interestingly, financial duplicities are often more difficult to navigate, grieve and understand. When, for example, a spouse loses thousands of dollars on a gambling spree or secretly pours resources into a flawed investment without consulting their partner, the anxiety and loss of trust is often as devastating as an affair. And the consequences (including home loss, credit score impacts, and drained retirement funds) often affect both the couple and even their children. And while the discovery of a spouse’s secret lover is traumatizing, it often serves as a catalyst to a deeper, more honest marital commitment. The discovery of a spouse’s financial dishonesty can also be overcome, but it can take years to regain financial stability. The lingering effects and lasting financial damage often extends the timeframe it takes for the couple to rebound and recover the trust that is needed for a healthy relationship.

Elisabeth LaMotte

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