Coat of Many Colors

Coat of Many Colors

Written and Sung by Dolly Parton

My coat of many colors
That my momma made for me
Made only from rags
But I wore it so proudly

(see full lyrics at the end of this post)

This song tells a beautiful story of a mom’s differentiation, and how it supported her children.

If you’re new to me using this term, “differentiation” is a foundational concept from Bowenian system’s theory which refers to a person’s ability to stay whole and secure in themselves in relationship to others.

https://www.thebowencenter.org/differentiation-of-self

If we come from families and communities where connection feels secure and boundaries feel healthy, differentiation is an easier task – no one is rejecting us, and no one is crowding us, so we are free to grow into who we are. If we come from situations where family dynamics are more harmful, differentiation becomes more difficult. It’s harder to gage where to stay connected and where to draw the boundaries.

In this song I hear the “rags” as a metaphor for what mom was able to pull out of the difficulties life handed to her. Through her own process of self-discovery, she sews together her own colorful identity to pass down to her daughter. With the benefit of a more stable parent and family system, her daughter is able to wear this “coat” proudly, or in other words, have a thriving sense of self.

In this song we even see how such family security protects her daughter from being hurt by forces outside of her family that mock her. With a secure family attachment, the daughter is able to maintain her own sense of differentiation. “I told them of the love mama sewed in every stich.”

As I hear this song, I think of all the moms who have worked so hard physically, emotionally, and spiritually, to create a better life for their children and how that work has benefited generations to come.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Full Lyrics:

 Back through the years
I go wonderin’ once again
Back to the seasons of my youth
I recall a box of rags that someone gave us
And how my momma put the rags to use

There were rags of many colors
Every piece was small
And I didn’t have a coat
And it was way down in the fall
Momma sewed the rags together
Sewin’ every piece with love
She made my coat of many colors
That I was so proud of

 As she sewed, she told a story
From the Bible, she had read
About a coat of many colors
Joseph wore and then she said
Perhaps this coat will bring you
Good luck and happiness
And I just couldn’t wait to wear it
And momma blessed it with a kiss

 My coat of many colors
That my momma made for me
Made only from rags
But I wore it so proudly
Although we had no money
I was rich as I could be
In my coat of many colors
My momma made for me

 So with patches on my britches
And holes in both my shoes
In my coat of many colors
I hurried off to school
Just to find the others laughing
And making fun of me
In my coat of many colors
My momma made for me

 And oh, I couldn’t understand it
For I felt I was rich
And I told ’em of the love
My momma sewed in every stitch
And I told ’em all the story
Momma told me while she sewed
And how my coat of many colors
Was worth more than all their clothes

 But they didn’t understand it
And I tried to make them see
That one is only poor
Only if they choose to be
Now I know we had no money
But I was rich as I could be
In my coat of many colors
My momma made for me
Made just for me