March 20th was International Happiness Day – Thoughts?
Friday March 20th was International Happiness Day. It was a pleasure to speak with DC’s beloved NBC anchor Tony Perkins to discuss some thoughts about how to cultivate happiness and meaning.
Before the interview, NBC requested some thoughts on the topic which are listed below. Wishing everyone a happy belated International Happiness Day.
1. Shift from chasing happiness to cultivating meaning.
Happiness is a feeling — and feelings naturally rise and fall depending on circumstances. Meaning is steadier. It’s built through relationships: showing up for the people we love, contributing to something larger than ourselves, and staying connected even when life feels chaotic. When we focus less on “Am I happy?” and more on “Am I living in alignment with my values and my relationships?” we often find a deeper, more durable sense of well-being.
2. Invest in connection, not just self-improvement.
Our culture encourages us to pursue individual achievement, optimization, and personal happiness. But as a marriage and family therapist, I see every day that well-being rises and falls in the context of our relationships. A five-minute call to a friend, a shared meal with family, a laugh with a neighbor, participating in a faith based community, or contributing to something beyond yourself often does more for lasting happiness than any productivity hack ever could. Instead of asking, “Am I happy?” try asking, “Am I connected?” Connection creates resilience — especially in stressful seasons.
3. Remember that emotions are relational, not just individual.
From a systems perspective, none of us exists in isolation. Our moods, stress levels, and sense of well-being are shaped within the emotional systems we live in — families, partnerships, workplaces, and communities. When one person becomes calmer, clearer, or more grounded, it often positively influences the entire system. Small relational shifts can ripple outward, improving not only our own well-being but the emotional climate around us.
4. Redefine happiness as engagement.
The most fulfilled people are not necessarily the most cheerful. They are engaged — in meaningful work, in their relationships, and in their communities. Engagement gives us a sense of purpose, and purpose stabilizes us when circumstances are uncertain.
Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, wrote that happiness cannot be pursued directly — it “must ensue.” In other words, happiness tends to follow when we orient our lives around meaning, connection, and contribution. It is a byproduct of healthy priorities. Even in a chaotic world, prioritizing meaning and connection is still an available and healthy ongoing choice.
5. Don’t underestimate humor.
Humor is one of the healthiest regulatory tools we have. Shared laughter lowers stress, softens conflict, and reminds us that we are not alone in our struggles. In families and relationships, humor often signals safety and connection — a momentary release that helps people regain perspective and move forward together. Humor is one of life’s most potent medicines.
