IDGAF

By Dua Lipa

You call me all friendly
Tellin’ me how much you miss me
That’s funny, I guess you’ve heard my songs
Well, I’m too busy for your business
Go find a girl who wants to listen
‘Cause if you think I was born yesterday
You have got me wrong

So I cut you off
I don’t need your love
‘Cause I already cried enough
I’ve been done
I’ve been movin’ on since we said goodbye
I cut you off
I don’t need your love, so you can try all you want
Your time is up, I’ll tell you why

You say you’re sorry
But it’s too late now
So save it, get gone, shut up
‘Cause if you think I care about you now
Well, boy, I don’t give a fuck

I remember that weekend
When my best friend caught you creepin’
You blamed it all on the alcohol
So I made my decision
‘Cause you made your bed, sleep in it
Play the victim and switch your position
I’m through, I’m done

So I cut you off
I don’t need your love
‘Cause I already cried enough
I’ve been done
I’ve been movin’ on since we said goodbye
I cut you off
I don’t need your love, so you can try all you want
Your time is up, I’ll tell you why

You say you’re sorry
But it’s too late now
So save it, get gone, shut up
‘Cause if you think I care about you now
Well, boy, I don’t give a fuck
I see you tryna’ get to me
I see you beggin’ on your knees
Boy, I don’t give a fuck
So stop tryna’ get to me
Tch, get up off your knees
‘Cause, boy, I don’t give a fuck

Dear IDGAF,

Rock on you Warrior Woman!

I think the music video context to these lyrics is important. The lyrics are ostensibly about moving on from a breakup. The music video stands out as more than just cussing out an ex-flame when Dua Lipa dance battles herself. I think the dance battle represents what often lies under the surface of a painful breakup: the anger, disappointment, and fight with yourself. Unless you are getting away from an abusive relationship, many of the meanest thoughts are said within your own mind. You may have a tendency to beat yourself up over what this loss means for you and your status as a human.

In addition to the stand strong attitude, I admire the reality about breakups that this video shows. On the surface, she seems to be singing to the silly person who had the gall to piss off her off. But, on a deeper level, I she seems to be singing to the negative thinking inside her own head. Towards the end, she and her enemy version resolve with a kind kiss on the forehead as if to say, “I forgive you, we are cool now.”

When you are getting over a breakup it’s not just about letting go of your attachment to the person. Breakups also bring an opportunity to resolve the demons within yourself that may have been stirred up with conclusion of the attachment. Maybe this person brought out the worst in you? Maybe the sense of rejection brought out your worst critic? The book The Wisdom of a Broken Heart by Susan Piver elaborates on this concept. She encourages the reader suffering from breakup demons to invite them all to dinner. Whether it’s a dinner, or a dance off, or a page in your journal, the guidance prioritizes resolving the relationship with yourself is a crucial step in the process of letting go of a relationship with someone who probably wasn’t right for you.

To Be Continued,

Spencer