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	<title>loss | DC Counseling &amp; Psychotherapy Center</title>
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	<title>loss | DC Counseling &amp; Psychotherapy Center</title>
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		<title>Burn This</title>
		<link>https://dccounselingcenter.com/burn-this.html</link>
					<comments>https://dccounselingcenter.com/burn-this.html#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Elisabeth LaMotte]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 14 Jul 2019 02:15:26 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Cinema Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family & Siblings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family Secrets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Intimacy & Commitment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Substance Use]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trauma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Broadway]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sibling rivalry]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://dccounselingcenter.com/?p=4292</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>As a therapist, I am perpetually curious about what draws people into love. Relationships are the ingredients that create the recipes of my clients’ lives. And the dynamics of romantic love are an ongoing focus for many people in therapy. Landford Wilson’s Broadway play, Burn This, starring Keri Russell and Adam Driver is a story&#8230;</p>
The post <a href="https://dccounselingcenter.com/burn-this.html">Burn This</a> first appeared on <a href="https://dccounselingcenter.com">DC Counseling & Psychotherapy Center</a>.]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>As a therapist, I am perpetually curious about what draws people into love.  Relationships are the ingredients that create the recipes of my clients’ lives.  And the dynamics of romantic love are an ongoing focus for many people in therapy.</p>
<p>Landford Wilson’s Broadway play, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/16/theater/burn-this-review-adam-driver-keri-russell.html">Burn This</a>, starring Keri Russell and Adam Driver is a story about grief, and loss, and falling in love.  Keri Russell plays Anna, a chic young dancer in New York City in 1987 who has just lost her gay dance partner and housemate, Robbie, in a freak boating accident.   Robbie has not come out to his family.  So, when Anna attends the funeral, she is treated as if she was Robbie’s girlfriend and she goes along with this charade.  </p>
<p>The play opens as Anna, awash in grief, describes the scenes of the funeral to her other housemate, Larry. (Larry was traveling for work and unable to make it to the service.)  Anna stretches her limbs and sighs with sadness as a violent door-knocking interrupts her pensive self-reflection.  With swagger and abundant male energy, Robbie’s brother, Pale, barges into Anna’s home.  </p>
<p>Pale is drunk, belligerent, and broken up about Robbie’s death.  Anna and Pale experience a personality clash that invites the audience to wonder about the intense contrasts that must have existed between machismo Pale and his sensitive, gay, dancing brother.   The chemistry is immediate.   Anna and Pale banter in annoyance as if they have known each other for years.  Anna steps in to say what Robbie could not.  Pale teases Anna for living in a less than conventional neighborhood in an off-beat, open space.  Anna reprimands Pale for his failure to make time to experience the utter joy of seeing Robbie dance.  As far as Anna is concerned, Pale didn’t even know his brother. </p>
<p>And yet, Anna and Pale fall quickly and passionately into each other’s embrace.   </p>
<p><a href="https://burnthisplay.com/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI4_jZkKqz4wIVlbfACh2Z0g8nEAAYASAAEgIVY_D_BwE">Burn This</a> explores how two unexpected, grieving souls might be drawn together despite strong differences in personality, preferences and world views.  Anna is artsy and wears lots of flowing robes.  Pale is a guy’s guy who drinks too much and throws too many punches.  Anna seems drawn to the parts of Pale that may be physically or spiritually similar to Robbie, despite their uncanny differences.  Pale seems drawn to Anna’s creative energy and the welcoming way she lives outside of the box.  Of course, this is a part of Anna’s personality that bonded so deeply with Robbie with his brother during the years that his family rejected him.  Their love seems fused by a dual desire to feel closer to Robbie.  </p>
<p>One healing strategy through grief or loss is to aim for a corrective emotional experience.  An experience can generate a healing value when revisits a painful situation and tries to do something differently in order to navigate a new result.  Pale sees, accepts and embraces Anna for who she is.  This mirrors the way he should have embraced and accepted his brother.  Anne can absorb Pale’s admiration and acceptance as hers, but possibly not entirely hers alone.  Perhaps she views Pale’s love as way to finally allow Robbie some version of being loved and embraced for who he was.   This journey offers a glimmer of healing for them both.</p>
<p>When Joan Allen and John Malkovich starred in <a href="https://variety.com/2019/legit/reviews/burn-this-review-adam-driver-keri-russell-1203190254/">Burn This </a>more than thirty years ago, Joan Allen won a Tony Award as Anna and John Malkovich won notorious praise for his wacky portrayal of Pale.  Keri Russell and Adam Driver recreate these roles as their own and create a compelling, unexpected love story that demonstrates how love can sometimes become a healing and corrective emotional experience.  </p>The post <a href="https://dccounselingcenter.com/burn-this.html">Burn This</a> first appeared on <a href="https://dccounselingcenter.com">DC Counseling & Psychotherapy Center</a>.]]></content:encoded>
					
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		<title>Everything I Never Told You</title>
		<link>https://dccounselingcenter.com/everything-i-never-told-you.html</link>
					<comments>https://dccounselingcenter.com/everything-i-never-told-you.html#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Elisabeth LaMotte]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Dec 2016 19:44:29 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Books]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Coming of Age]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family & Siblings]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Fathers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Intimacy & Commitment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mothers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trauma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loss]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://dccounselingcenter.com/?p=717</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Celeste Ng&#8217;s 2014 debut novel about a Chinese-American family coping with the excruciating aftermath of a teenager&#8217;s death is as absorbing as it is humbling. It is absorbing due to its complex and realistic characters, each with their own layers and secrets and struggles related to the middle daughter, Lydia&#8217;s, mysterious disappearance and death. And&#8230;</p>
The post <a href="https://dccounselingcenter.com/everything-i-never-told-you.html">Everything I Never Told You</a> first appeared on <a href="https://dccounselingcenter.com">DC Counseling & Psychotherapy Center</a>.]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Celeste Ng&#8217;s 2014 debut novel about a Chinese-American family coping with the excruciating aftermath of a teenager&#8217;s death is as absorbing as it is humbling. It is absorbing due to its complex and realistic characters, each with their own layers and secrets and struggles related to the middle daughter, Lydia&#8217;s, mysterious disappearance and death. And it is humbling, for any parent who imagines that they know all there is to know about their teenage children. Marilyn, James, Nath, Lydia and Hannah Lee comprise an Amerasian family in a nameless Ohio town in the 1970s, and Ng captures the bold and subtle layers of racism that penetrate and define each family member&#8217;s experience. On an emotional level, the plot underscores an essential principle of psychology &#8212; the human tendency to repeat the past:</p>
<p><em>How had it begun? Like everything: with mothers and fathers. Because of Lydia&#8217;s mother and father, because of her mother&#8217;s and father&#8217;s mothers and fathers. Because long ago, her mother had gone missing, and her father had brought her home. Because, more than anything, her mother had wanted to stand out; because more than anything, her father had wanted to blend in. Because those things had been impossible. </em></p>
<p>There are many schools of psychology, and the acknowledgment of a universal drive to repeat the past is a thread that ties them together. Behavioral theory explores learned behaviors. Cognitive theory emphasizes learned thoughts that inform subsequent feelings and behavior. Systems theory states, quite simply that, if something is familiar, it will feel comfortable, even if it is not optimal. And psychoanalytic theory proposes the concept of a repetition compulsion &#8212; that consciously or unconsciously we are driven to repeat the most painful dimensions of our past with an unrealistic fantasy attached to this drive that we will master difficult dynamics and therefore heal past wounds. The plot gracefully floats back and forth through time to demonstrate the conscious and unconscious choices the characters make as they struggle to overcome their past. Lydia&#8217;s father, James, for example, was tormented and traumatized by his childhood of extreme poverty as a first generation child of immigrants who sacrificed everything for his education. Ng writes with an understanding of unconscious drives as she explores James&#8217; love for his wife Marilyn.</p>
<p><em>Hers had been just one of the pale, pretty faces, indistinguishable from the next, and though he would never fully realize it, this was the first reason he came to love her: because she had blended in so perfectly, because she had seemed so completely and utterly at home.</em></p>
<p><a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/17/books/review/everything-i-never-told-you-by-celeste-ng.html">Everything I Never Told You</a> is written with a purity and simplicity that enhances the psychological depth of the characters. James wants to fit into American culture and builds a career around the study of cowboys. His son Nath resents the sense that Lydia is the favorite &#8212; she is blonde with blue eyes and looks the least Chinese of the three children &#8212; and he becomes obsessed with astronauts and outer space. This page-turning tale is essential reading for any parent who has ever pressured their children &#8212; in other words, a cautionary and worthwhile tale for all parents.</p>The post <a href="https://dccounselingcenter.com/everything-i-never-told-you.html">Everything I Never Told You</a> first appeared on <a href="https://dccounselingcenter.com">DC Counseling & Psychotherapy Center</a>.]]></content:encoded>
					
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